tis the season.. how i love it so!

i should probably stop talking about how it's been a while since i posted and just start posting more! haha :) guilty.

well, we just got back from Christmas break and have jumped right back into work. it felt weird working again, but it is so great to be back and with the interns! i missed them so much. to catch yall up on what has been going on i will list some things! the week before we left for home we had a Christmas party/ get together every night for 4 nights straight! monday through thursday we worked during the day and had Christmas parties at night! so much fun, but really exhausting. we had a staff wide party at Shine FM in baltimore who is part of Peter and John Ministries. the Ranch is also part of P&J Ministries. it was so fun to see how the station works and putting faces to the voices you hear on the radio! that night we had a party for the community around the ranch. i believe i mentioned that before in the last blog. it was a great way to get to know the neighbors. i played with the kids all night.. too much fun :) the next morning we had a just ranch staff gift exchange. i got an awesome travel coffee mug from Morgan. woohoo! more parties followed.. it was a great time connecting with others, but i really do feel exhausted after weeks like that.. i needed some down time and alone time for sure. on friday Matt let us leave early right after lunch because of the blizzard that was coming! good thing he did because it hit and left us under 18inches of snow! absolutely beautiful! well, instead of going home i drove to my friend carly's house who had just gotten back from Africa. she was there for 3 months. i ended up being snowed in at her house for 3 days! didn't bother me any :) :) we had a lot of catching up to do anyways. it was great to reconnect and hear about how God worked in her down in Africa. then the long trek home.. ugh.. 4 hours turned into 7 hours.. thank you traffic and snow on the sides of the roads. spent a great week at home spending much needed down time and quality time with friends and family.. you ever wish you could clone yourself and be 20 places at once?? sometimes i do because there are so many friends i want to see and spend time with.. i havent even gotten to spend time in the burg yet!! i will make it there, mark my words! i had a great Christmas with a special guest! Stephen came down for Christmas eve and morning. it was one of my favorite Christmas presents :) as great as it was to see family and spend time with them it can also be tough. let's just say my last day home wasn't the best.. arguments, bad memories, and the struggle with guilt weighed heavy on my heart for a few days.. the Lord's love endures forever and for that i am grateful.. he washes me clean and white as snow daily. thank you Lord for new days, new chances, and new opportunities to grow and learn from mistakes. thank you for being my refuge. i did my devotional yesterday and it was on how the Lord is our refuge.. it is something we always hear, but i had never taken the time to look into what a refuge really is. i discoved that it is a safe place. God is my safe place.. He is the person i run to and the person i feel completely safe with. where i know i am forgiven and where i am learning. i can't imagine not having Him to run to.

a little update on what is happening now.. we are continuing to prepare for Winter Meltdown! Winter Meltdown is an event we put on for 100's of youth for 6 weekends. We want to challenge them to grow in the faith and for some start the new journey of following the Lord. Working on the set and OTM trying to get the building looking tip top for the event. i have been assigned to read 4 poems from memory. not gonna lie i am very nervous! i have 1 memorized and half of the really really long one i have to do. i know i will have them memorized in time, but i am afraid i will feeze. it's weird cause i am a huge people person and i can be in front of large amounts of people and be fine.. but having to memorize something makes things more nerve wrecking for me.. make sense? haha if God brought me to it He will bring me through it!! just gotta believe it! :) positive self talk.. learning that too! ;) the poems i have to read are deep. i mean deep for kids! and kids wrote these poems! the one that wasn't written by kid's is really long.. i have memorized a little over half, but the catch is that it is slam poetry.. that means i have speak it with a lot of soul.. funny they choose me.. :) i am excited yet very nervous.. pray for me! :)

i will update more on this week when it's over.. it is a very eventful week.. we have a very large group in now and we have the summer staff reunion mid week for RVR.. it's a new years thing so we will be working new years pretty late, but it will be fun!

along the journey,
beth.

oh happy day.

yesterday and today we have been preparing for a community Christmas party that we host for all the neighbors of RVR. we are pretty loud in the summer and we bring in a lot of traffic to the area. in appreciation of our neighbor's great attitudes and patience with us we throw them a Christmas party. so the interns have been helping decorate and set up inflatables for the kids.. these inflatables are massive.. we washed them out all day yesterday and then patched the holes today.. we may have then played in and on them for a good bit of the day :) one of many reasons i love my job, but another reason i love my job is that we reach out to the community.. we don't just sit in our bubble and let people come to us. we go to them and we show them the love of the Father we believe in. it's a great opportunity that we have here at a place like this.. the same goes for other camps as well. after lunch we had our 2nd Old Testament class.. i love this class. it really challenges me and makes me think a lot about my faith and what i believe. it also teaches me a lot of what i don't know which i realized is more than i thought. today we talked about how the life of Moses foreshadowed the life of Christ. it was some pretty amazing stuff and pretty neat to see how the Lord was working out his plan through one man's life. the topic of prayer was then brought up and why we pray for healing if the Lord already has His perfect plan.. something in me just lit up.. i started thinking that if my prayers don't mean anything and they have no effect then what am i doing? but i know they do and i know they are heard. the Bible commands us to pray and to pray for one another.. i may not understand the mind of God, but i know that he wants to hear from us and He wants to answer our prayers.. it may not be the way we expect, but nonetheless they are answered. and for that it is a happy day. :)

beth.

thanksgiving/updates/thoughts. :)

ahhh its been too long since i have written.. i guess i am just having too much fun ;) well when i wrote last i was on thanksgiving break.. i had a great break, i got to speak to my church about my trip to china (which went great), i got to catch up with high school friends, and hang with my family.. i love my family, but it's hard to be around sometimes.. i guess all families have their issues. see i'm not who i used to be, i've come a long way since i have lived at home. the Lord has really brought me a long way from then. when the same issues that go down with my family happen i now get sad. sad because i can't change them. sad because i used to be them. sad because i want so badly to open their eyes. i used to be angry. i used to be a mad kid and just react with anger. that's how they knew me and that's how they think i am going to react now, but i don't and i think it is taking a little while for them to realize that i have changed. it's almost like they don't wanna believe that i have changed. i know they do realize it, but it's hard to accept i guess. it's a learning process and i know that good will come from all situations. over the break i had an amazing devotion on forgiveness. i had always felt that i am a pretty forgiving person, but i guess the Lord showed me that i was leaving some people out. there is a lot of family history that i would need to explain, but for the lack of space and time i can not explain it all. i have forgiven my father for a lot of things that have happened, but i realized that i don't forgive my siblings. my siblings are living like i used to live. i used to live with a me mentality that i must look out for myself and protect it at all costs.. its a selfish one and it makes you angry when things don't go your way. i hadn't been forgiving them for being like that. it hurts me to see it and it hurts to be treated that way, but i realized i need to forgive them and be patient with them. the Lord forgave me for being like that and had patience with me. it may be taking them longer, but that doesn't mean i shouldn't forgive and have hope that life will turn around for them. it's a learning process that i am on.
so after break i went to house sit for my family at sandy cove. it was so great to spend time with their only daughter, kat. she is a great girl with a good head on her shoulders.. i'm hoping the Lord will use me to be an example and an encouragement in her life. i am probably not the best example, but i do know that i wanna be used by Him. we stayed up too late talking about life, but it's worth it to be a listening ear.
got back to the ranch and started right back into work. i was gone for 10 days and it made me realize how much i missed these guys! the interns have become my family without a doubt. i have never been in such a tight knit group with the same goals in mind. it really brings us close together. the girls are becoming some of my best friends and the guys are just my buds. i really have been blessed to be a part of this group. we did some cleaning and had some classes on the history of our retreat programming and also an old testament survey class.. i must admit i am excited about learning more about the old testament. well, guess what. i went to another chic-fil-a grand opening last week. :) it was crazy. everyone in our group made the first 100! it was a crazy story. you have to get there the day before at 6am. at 6 they take everyone there. if it is less than 100 they will let more people in who were later and if it is at 100 they dont take any more people, but if it is over 100 at 6am they do a raffle. what that means is that they take all of our names put it in a bucket and draw names until they get 100.. well there was about 130 of us and guess what number i was! umm, 100! can i please say that i never want to go through that again.. it was such an awesome feeling and a crazy rush, but i would rather not have to wait like that again. it was fun like always except for the pouring rain and the wind with up to 40mph gusts. yeah, i didn't sleep much. that leads me to last weekend, where we had our first snow of the year. about 3 inches. we worked half a day sat and got some stuff done as well as play in the snow.. :)
i house/dog sat for my old boss this past sat night and sunday. i don't think the dog was feeling so good. he peed 4 times inside and i wasn't even there for a full day! pour guy. sunday, i went to church with my 2nd family and then got lunch at ikea after. that place is way cool! i am so grateful for the fishers and how they make me feel like a part of their family. i also got to spend my time catching up with a girl i worked with this summer named beth anne. she is about 4 years younger than me, but is very mature for her age. i love seeing younger girls have such a strong love and devotion to the Lord. it is very encouraging to me. we caught up on school and boys (because we both had stories to tell about the men in our lives ;) which by the way can i just say i am a very blessed girl? well, i am and i do not deserve all that i have been given. i couldn't have written this story more perfectly. there really is beauty in the waiting :) the Lord is most certainly writing this love story better than i had even tried to play out in my head. i am grateful for a friendship that has now started a new journey and i am grateful for the time i have to spend with him and get to know him even more. thank you Lord for always blowing me away.
that brings me to today. nothing out of the ordinary happened, but i have learned to love the ordinary. to love the moment i am in with he people in my life. i couldn't ask for more. the interns led worship and prayer this morning for the staff. we made a slide show and had an audio we recorded and made as well. i think it went absolutely perfect. it was the Lord's doing for sure. i hope that other's felt Him move as much as i felt Him move in my heart. i may not live a life that is un-Christ like, but i know that i have not being living in a way that is Christ like if that makes sense. i've been living in the middle, the safe place. i wanna be on the other side. the side that shines so brightly for the Lord. that is what my heart was convicted for this morning. to live as a picture of Him is my longing, but man do i fall short. Lord, use me and mold me into the image of your son and forgive me when i live a safe comfortable life for myself rather than stepping out and living one that shines so brightly for you. Teach me to shine bright and teach me to live boldly. Amen.
i serve and believe in a God who is Emanuel. what other God is with us? none. Emanuel means God with us. Who better to serve that a God who is actually with us? Who better to love and give our lives to than one who lived and gave His life for us? none. Serve Him. Love Him. Live for Him.

in Him,
beth.

one place can hold so much meaning.

the past 3 nights/4 days i was blessed to have the opportunity to visit sandy cove and visit friends who have worked there in previous summers. i have been back to visit many times over the past 4 years, but this time i got to thinking about how much my life was dramatically changed by sandy cove and at sandy cove. i am sure that the same growth and changes would have also happened if i was somewhere else, but in my story sandy cove is where God chose for me to be. my first summer i was a 19 year old girl. i am now a 23 year old woman. wow, looking back is sometimes unbelievable. was i really that immature?? haha to become more mature we must have been immature at some point right? i defined my life and happiness by so many other things other than the Lord. i feel that there is far too much to write and i probably won't remember it all, but i will try to hit the main points. it was at sandy cove i grew up, i found my calling, i fell in love with the Lord, i found like-minded believers, i found a 2nd family, i learned what it meant to serve, i learned what brother's and sister's in Christ really look like, i learned that families face the same things mine did, but really can make it through if they work hard enough and run to the Lord. i learned so much more than i mentioned as well. how do you give back to a place that gave so much to you? my only conclusion is to give back to the Lord who gave me so much while i was there. i know that it was really the Lord working through sandy cove and that it was actually the Lord teaching me and not the place, but it was there it all took place. i walked the same paths i walked in the past 4 years, sat in the same spots i once used to sit in over the summers, and enjoyed the beauty like i have so many times in the past. my heart and my soul were warmed with the flooding of memories that had been made in my time there. i wish everyone could experience such change and growth in one place like i did. it makes visiting that much more special. to see how far i have come and how much the Lord really worked in me is an amazing emotion. it's almost too much to take in at once. so much emotion just wants to pour out of me. emotions of immense joy and thankfulness that God granted me the opportunity to grow and transform into who He wanted me to be all in one place. that one place i can visit and be reminded to thank Him for all He has done in and through me.

God, sometimes i don't have the words to tell you how thankful i am for what you have done for me. i am so thankful you brought me to a place where i knew you were working in me, where i saw your work in others, and where memories will remind me of Your greatness. thank you for using sandy cove as a tool in my life. what you have done over the past 4 years i will never forget. it was in the past 4 years that i believe the biggest transformation of my life took place and it was all because of You. You amaze me. You leave me speechless and for that I thank you. Thank you for being You, for blowing me away with your amazing love. Amen

thankfully,
beth.

sorry.

so, i went back and read some of my posts and i realized i have the worst grammar and spelling mistakes.. when i finish writing my blogs i am too lazy to go back and read over them. well, i realized that i look like i shouldn't have graduated high school so i will make a better effort to check for spelling and grammar errors.. thanks for understanding :)

playing a little catch up.

let's play a little catch up on the past 10 days. hmmm, lot's has happened. :) where to begin. well, last weekend i was the tnt host. there was one worker and his name was nate. it was a pretty busy weekend so we didn't get to play around too much. what we did get to do was have great conversations.. we shared our testimonies and some recent struggles and what God is doing in our lives. it's encouraging to see a 16 year old boy struggling to grow in his faith. even if it is struggling it is growing.. i was also encouraged by his honesty. when people are honest they can receive honest advice and help. i was able to encourage and give advice. it was awesome because i was nervous about how the weekend would play out with being a girl host working with one boy worker. i prayed that the Lord would allow us to connect in some way and use me in some way. i believe that prayer was answered! they always are. :) i tie-dyed a lot more on monday.. they turned out great and i even tried dying some gloves. they actually look cute! still selling all that stuff by the way. hahaha. anyways, on tuesday we were pleasantly surprised when Matt announced that we had a small day trip of canoeing planned. we packed a lunch and headed to a local park, put the canoe's in the water and made a day of it. our first stop was an island where we had lunch, a throwing contest, and then a devotional. after the devo was over matt asked us to go find a spot on the island to sit and think about some goals we have or wanted to make. it was a great time.. even though it was 20 mins, it was what i needed. i needed to think about what my goals were and are. of course i want to grow more and more into the image of Christ, but there are more than just that. i also want to put on love every day. i don't want to just say it, but live it. i want to lead someone to Christ this year, take advantage of every opportunity given to me to share the love of Christ, and to really be a light in this dark world. i mean a real bright bright light! those are some of the goals i had made.. after that we got back in the boats and paddled around until about 4. the midweek was pretty much normal.. did some cleaning, finished working on our initiative book, and did small jobs that needed to be done. i've been working out a lot lately instead of running. it really bums me out, but my feet have been going numb again. i guess surgery didn't work.. :( so i have turned over to doing a workout video by jillian michaels from the biggest loser. i really enjoy it! i know that was very random, but just thought i would share. on thursday evening the interns threw me a small birthday surprise celebration. can i just say how blessed i am to work with such awesome loving people?? i am! well it was a cheese party! haha the first one i have ever had. they had a platter of all kinds of cheeses, gold fish, queso and chips, easy cheese and crackers, cheese sticks, and pizza! it was sooooooo good. we watched up and also played settler's of canton. they also got me some gifts.. they got me a mug that they wrote on with nice words they thought described me.. they also got me vanilla creamer (yumm), my favorite flowers (fake ones that last forever yay!), and a tiara. :) it was a great night and our last one together until after break. my birthday was yesterday (saturday). i am 23. growing up is crazy. i don't feel any different than i did when i was a teenager, except more mature haha. i had to work, but was so blessed to get off early at 3:30 and was able to get a shower and get ready for the night. i had dinner and saw a movie with stephen and had a wonderful time. :) i received some great gifts from him and really couldn't have asked for a better night. :) :) :)
life is good. God is better. i need to be living with more love. i'm working and growing in that area. i also need to be consumed with Him. sometimes i find myself being consumed with things of the world instead of being consumed with Him to reach this world. today at church we sang the old song that goes..this is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long. i want to adopt that song for this time period. this is what i want to say, what i want to be living each and every day.. this is my story that i am living and the song that i am singing praising my Savior all the day long. what a great story to live and a great song to sing. i pray that will be the story i live- to praise my Savior all the day long.

living His story,
beth.

in 9 days.

my birthday is in 9 days. i'm not just trying to share that my birthday is soon just to share that it is my birthday. that day has deeper meaning for me this year. back in june i decided that i was going to commit the next 5-6 months to not dating.. it seems funny and doesn't seem very long, but i wanted to share about the journey i have had. i tend to date too fast, i tend to get distracted by finding the right person, and i tend to try and plan my own path. if i may be an honest girl right now, it is so hard to stay focused on the Lord when you are so focused on finding someone to spend your life with. common sense, right? right, but not always easy to stay focused. for me i was so focused on not being alone that i was missing out on what my single life could be. i was missing out on what God had called me to at that time, singleness. so, i took this time to free myself from even the chance of being distracted. that didn't mean that i couldn't be friends with guys. it just meant that i couldn't be consumed by thinking about finding someone. i am so grateful that this time has taught me so much. i finally have learned the true happiness of being single and trusting and waiting for the Lord to write my story. the Lord is writing my love story along with everyone else's. and how much more beautiful will my story be when i can say look how the Lord wrote my story, look how His perfect timing was better than my own. i am excited for the day when i can say that, but i am excited for today, for today is what i have. i do not have the future and i do not know the future. what i have now is today and what i know is to live for the Lord today, trusting that He is leading my every step. i am no longer consumed with thoughts or worries about planning my life. it's being planned for me. i can't say that i have got this trust thing 100% perfected, because i don't. some days weigh heavier than others. some days the spiritual attack is stronger, but now every day i know that i have someone fighting for me, someone perfectly writing my story, and with that in mind i don't need to worry. :) once my birthday hits, it's not like life changes and i am free to do what i want, but rather my life continues on the journey i have learned to live contently in, that i have learned to let Him write my story and trust that His story is far better than the story i could ever write.

in His story,
beth.

recruting, reunions, and retrreating.

so this past week has been extremely busy and filled with fun, relaxation, craziness, and joy. :) when i think about the Lord and how He has a perfect plan for me and my life it is hard not to be filled with joy, but at the same time it is hard to always think about His perfect plan. we doubt sometimes, me included..but this weekend and week were filled with joy and no doubting. :) last thursday me and 4 other RVR staff members headed down to good ole lynchburg, Va for a recruiting/ reunion trip. most of the staff here at the ranch came and come from Liberty so it's a perfect time to go and recruit and have a reunion with previous staff as well. all day friday we set up a booth telling students about the great opportunity we have to serve at the ranch and what it is all about. just spreading the word about the camp and getting e-mails to remind students that we would be back in january was our mission. we did accomplish that for sure. when i found out i was the intern going on this trip i was excited... excited to be reunited with family i had formed over the past 4 years. it was a little overwhelming almost to see everyone from those 4 years in just a few days, but more than overwhelming it was encouraging and wonderful to reconnect with those from my past. i miss the burg so much and the people i have grown to love as my family. but as much as i miss them i do know that i am where the Lord wants me. our friendships are not conditional and will pick up just where we left off when a visit occurs. i got to spend time with my mentor/ role model Donna. she is such an encouragement to me in my walk and such an inspiration to my goals of being a woman after God's own heart. i got to see my coaches who became so close to my heart and mean so much to me.. i saw teammates, friends, professors, and my church family. i couldn't have asked for a better weekend. we tailgated all day saturday and then watched the liberty football game. last home game of the season which we won by a blow out. my brother charlie came and visited and watched the game. it was great to see him.. he is growing faster than i expected.. he is a man! weird! i'm hoping he will end up at liberty.. be praying for that! we returned on sunday evening and the next day the interns and i packed up our bags and headed to gettysburg, Pa with matt, michelle, and baby Lilah for a relaxing 3 day retreat. we showed up to our little cabin and made it our home for the next few days.. we had nothing planned, but to relax, refuel, and connect with each other. the first day some of us hiked a bit and then played games and watched a movie. we played this game called settlers of catan. don't ask, but it is my new favorite board game! i still haven't won and i can't say it is everyone else's favorite, but they still play it with me! it's so much fun, go look it up! we played 3 times over the 3 day trip.. the game usually lasts 2 hours. :) saturday we had a big breakfast and then headed to historic gettysburg where we walked around battlefields and ended up spending most of our day at Devil's Den. look that up too and check it out. after we soaked in the views and history we started climbing all the massive rocks that were there! can we say so much fun!?!? take a bunch of camp staff to a place with big rocks and it won't be long until we are all over those things with shoes off and climbing in mind. we had some great climbs, which i am sure weren't safe, and some pretty cool pictures. after that we hit up the gettysburg outlets. there aren't many, but they were great! us girls only hit one store in the time we had, typical girls. :) ps. i need to go back there because in the food court there was this little shop that sold fruit smoothies and reminded me a bit of rita's, but made with real fruit and soooooo good. i got a mango/orange smoothie and wished i had 5 more to drink.. it was that good! so that is on my list of things to do again. :) the next day we took a hike, packed up, ate yummy veggie burgers, played settlers of catan, and then headed home.. it was a great relaxing lazy and active trip we all needed.

learning to accept His love,
beth.

to love and be loved.. that is the struggle.

oh man, it has been an eventful past few days.. not just with actual events, but with actual struggles and growth in my walk or better yet the beginning of great growth. first, i must start and bring everyone up to date on what has been going on in my life.. this weekend was the last weekend of corn maize and it was also the weekend that my first race took place! i was blessed to have my mother come and visit me and run the race with me. she did great for her first trail race plus having bad knees... i finished 2nd in my age division out of 18 girls and was the 5th overall girl to finish the race. =) not bad for a first timer. it was such a fun day because betsy and i both dressed up like waldo's girlfriend (she is real, look her up) for the race. i wore the same costume all day at the corn maize.. that night one of the full-time staff members had a costume party and i was a hippie.. go figure :) i have seen God working on me through people here at the ranch.. long story short God is so faithful, but that's nothing new. just wanted to let you know that my prayers are being answered right in front of my eyes. i am loving every aspect of the ranch, my fellow interns, the full-time staff, and the people i get to serve. my love for my fellow interns is growing and growing and i know they are becoming part of my family. it is not always easy to love.. we have days where it is just plain hard.. there are days people are just plain hard to love, but you wanna know my greater struggle than loving others? it is accepting Christ's love. to be completely honest, that is what i am struggling with.. i love Him oh, how i love Him, but i am having a hard time accepting and knowing His love.. my mind is so limited to knowing that type of love.. we don't experience that type of love anywhere else but from Him from Christ himself and since i only know the love i have felt on this earth it is so hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that his love is different... His love is limitless. yes, i know these things, but to truly feel it, to truly believe it, to truly live it.. that is my struggle. Lord, open my heart to accepting and knowing all the love you have for me. i know there is nothing i can do to earn or lose His love for me, but why does my mind work like it does? to accept your love, the love you have for me that is never ending, that is my desire.. to love and be loved by you.

learning to accept His love,

beth.

chic-fil-a, fun, and community.

this has been a light work week for me.. it was greatly needed.. i had monday off like usual and then worked on tuesday on race stuff! the race is in 2 days and i am soo excited! besty's and my costumes look so good! wednesday we got up at 2:30 am and made our way to my first chic-fil-a grand opening.. yes i know you think we are crazy, but hear us out.. so we left at 3 and got there around 530am.. if you are part of the first 100 people you get 52 free coupons for a #1 meal! =) well needless to say all 14 of us rvr's made it in and got our coupons! the deal is that you have to stay on site for 24 hours and camp out there.. you have to be there for line checks to make sure that you haven't left. i had such a blast.. one of the most fun times i have ever had. we played games, watched the phillies, ate a lot of chic fil a, dominated in the competitions, and met new people. the only bad part is that i have slept only 8 hours in the past 2 days! its rough and that is why i will be sleeping in about 10 mins =) so, spending 24 hours in the same parking lot with 100 other people is a sure way to get to meet people... here is one of the funny and yet crazy stories that took place.. i was in line with jodi to get sauce for my sandwhich and we saw some people from PBU and we started chatting because i was wearing my liberty softball shirt.. one girl said she was just there a few weeks ago visiting her best friend.. she saw that i played softball and said her friend played soccer.. well her friend was my roommate my last year at liberty!!! she also came to visit her and slept in my bed!!! haha small small world.. liberty was probably about 6 hours away from the chic fil a we were at.. crazy crazy =) but what was awesome was meeting new people and watching people.. it almost became a little community.. watching people watch the phillies game not knowing each other, but having that common bond that brought them together.. it was great to sit and look and think about that's how the christian community should be.. filled with different types of people, but all connected with the same love for Jesus Christ.. so many of us get community right, yet others get it so wrong.. the bond of Jesus Christ should make the christian community stronger, but sometimes we allow things to tear us apart like different views and different takes on aspects of life (as long as it's Biblical:), but if we could just focus on the central theme that we both love the Lord our world would be a little easier to live in. =) so look past people's differences and find that similar ground of Jesus Christ and let that be the foundation of a great relationship...

in Him
beth.

reward.

my job comes with some rewards and some of them include watching children overcome their fears.. i look back on yesterday and today when i was working the top entrance on the high ropes and seeing the children's faces filled with fear turn into smiles filled with a little fun and trust. after climbing the ladder and making it onto the cables they begin to relax and beat their fears.. ah it is so rewarding to me to be able to talk them through those fears and see how intently they listen to me trying to grasp anything that will take the fear away. while waiting for another child to come up i sat on the log filled with so much joy that i almost started to cry. i look back now and think that God must feel like that.. when we are so scared and look to Him and only Him to find strength to overcome our fears about mostly anything. He must be filled with so much joy when He sees His children overcome the very things that hold them back.. how i long to overcome the fears of mine to see the Lord filled with joy.. Lord help me face those fears with the strength you give. I love to bring you joy.

<3

rested and ready.

yikes. i stink at keeping up at this.. so it's been a while.. a lot has gone on. this past weekend i was the tnt host. tnt stands for teens in training.. they come to work the meals for the weekend groups. i basically work with them the whole weekend and am in charge of fun stuff and devo's and what not. the kids are so solid. it's awesome.. they are really good kids who love the Lord. it is very encouraging to me. i was trying to put together devotions for the crew and i kept thinking that they probably already know all these things.. haha.. but it went well and i had such a fun time with them.. this blog is going to be very random and i apologize for that. today Matt (my boss) and his wife Michelle had their first baby!! her name is Lila Sage.. how cute! so he won't be around for a few days.. the past 10 days that i haven't written have consisted of working out door education groups.. so basically the ropes course, the zip, rock climbing, and the swing.. it has been fun and very good experience for what the summer will look like... our maize fest was canceled this weekend because the weather has been horrible, but with that being said i was able to go to sandy cove for sunday night and monday. it was the rest i needed.. working in the ministry as well as a camp that serves people non-stop can be very exhausting.. it is by far the most rewarding aspect of our jobs, serving others, but it really can tire you out if you don't get the rest you need. this past weekend i received the rest i needed and when i say rest i don't mean sleep and being inactive, but the kind where you see old friends and people who have become your family that fill you back up.. that happened for me the past 2 days. i was with my family that has been built over the past 4 years.. from visiting people in their offices to watching football to having dinner with great friends, it was exactly what i needed to feel full again. =) if i could tell all those people how much i really love them i would! well.. i do. hahaha anyways, after being rested and filled i am ready, ready to go out into the new week to serve these new guests.. rvr is such a great place and allows me to serve others almost every day.. sometimes it is hard to go into it with the right mindset of being a true servant. some days i am tired or not focused and have to get my heart right. not easy! i am learning how to be a true servant and i am learning how to think others better than myself. like anything in our faith it is a process. a journey that i am on to be more like Christ. i fall short so many times, but i am learning more about God's grace and love together.. i have a hard time forgiving myself and God is teaching me through other people that i need to not be so hard on myself.. i am thankful for the ways that He works.. i am ready Lord to be used by you, to stop being distracted, to truly love like you love me.

beth.

it's fall.

i'm excited it's the fall. i can't believe it is already here that it's already cold and the leaves are changing...crazy how time really does fly. things around here are going well. we hosted a couple of outdoor education groups this week.. i worked the high ropes course finally and also the climbing tower.. my favorite thing to work and play on is the high ropes.. stuff that high off the ground is so fun to me. i got to catch up with a few friends this week on the phone. it's good to hear familiar voices and hearing from the people you love. i wish i had more time to catch up with all my friends. i miss everyone from home, lynchburg, and sandy cove so much! that's part of growing up though i guess. jodi came up to work the corn maize today!! she is a friend i met at liberty who did the internship before me and we grew to be good friends so it was so good to see and hang out with her. today was the 2nd weekend of the corn maize and i worked the tower.. basically i am on a really really high tower.. probably over 20ft tall.. and helped lost people find their way around our 6 acre corn maize! it actually is so much fun and i get to work it again on halloween which will be so fun! =) there is also a 5k race for the ranch on the 31st and i am running it! my first race.. i have been training pretty hard for it! i can't wait!

i love the feel of fall.. the feel of Christmas time.. it's such a great time.. it just reminds me of good friends and spending time with family.. i love bundling up and getting coffee with friends, sitting around the fire, camping, snuggling inside and watching a movie when it's cold, and watching football. i love it. it is such a great time for relationships to build and it makes me reflect back on the way God made people to be relational.. it's an awesome concept if you sit down and think about it. He is such a relational God. He wants a relationship with us as well. I want my relationship with Him to grow and grow. to sit around the fire and talk about Him and His goodness, to sit and talk with him, to snuggle up with my coffee and read about Him, to sit and be with Him. the fall and winter time remind me of how awesome it is to have relationships with His people and with Him. it is such an awesome aspect of the life He has given us. i can't imagine what it will feel like having a family one day that i can spend time just being with in the fall. it will be beautiful. as the leaves change i am reminded of His beauty. sitting on that tower today was such a blessing. i saw the countryside and the trees with the sunset starting to change colors.. absolutely captivating..

May my life reflect the beauty of the Lord. <3

along this journey,
beth.

undeserving.

so, yesterday was an awesome day in so many ways. i went to church and was able to relax on one of our days off. i had plans to meet one of my friends for a movie and dinner at 5. didn't work out... the story goes like this. after church i had lunch at camp with the tnt'ers. love them.. anyway.. and then after that Taco had a special day planned for us.. we left around 2:30ish to go on little adventure... i was stressed out because i didnt know if i was going to be able to make my plans and the skins were losing again! haha the part about the skins really didn't stress me out. im not that crazy, but moving on.. we got to our destination which was a cute little park where he had made a picnic for us with a pinata and everything! i started to feel guilty because i was in such a bad mood and i was letting it effect me so much..i also started to feel guilty i couldnt stay as long as i wanted with my coworkers.. these such small issues became so huge in my mind when they really werent! haha i then also felt bad that i might have to change my plans with my friend... well i had to change the plans from a movie to dinner and hanging out at 6.. first off he was so understanding and really flexible.. i just assumed it was going to bother everyone when in reality it didnt. so i was able to stay with my coworkers longer and still meet stephen later on.. on my car ride i was thinking about all the reasons i was stressed and how minor they really were.. i usually dont get stressed out, but for some reason i was. when we got to the restaurant there was mark and lori! the president of sandy cove and his wife who are like 2nd parents to me.. it was a blessing after blessing kinda night. i was so grateful and so blown away that the Lord really blessed my day even when i doubted.. all i did was stress and assume things weren't going to work out.. doesn't God always work things out for us and tells us not to stress? yes, but i did anyway.. i am so undeserving of the blessings He sends my way. being able to hang out with my coworkers and then the fishers and stephen all in one day was far better than the day i had planned... the day the Lord had planned was far better than the one i could even imagine. and i doubted.. it shows how we are so undeserving esp. me. i am thankful for the lessons learned and the blessings received. it is a perfect exampled of Ephesians 3:20 which stephen shared with me last night.. it spoke to me so much and i am so thankful for such a solid friend like that in my life! God's plans are far better than our own even little days like yesterday.. His plans for our lives aren't just better than ours but His plans are better even in the small things like our day to day plans.. i am so grateful for a God who spreads His grace over me. i am undeserving...

feels like home.

first day of corn maize today.. i worked the obstacle blow up inflatable.. not too bad. =) it was beautiful out. these next 2 days off are going to be great. =)

i am beginning to feel more at home here. i have loved it since day one, but it wasn't home yet. it's becoming more and more like a home to me. i love it.. i am growing closer to the interns, to the staff, to the community here. to be honest i was really homesick for a while.. it was weird. i have been away from home for 4 years and wasn't ever really homesick.. haha kinda funny.. i think it was the whole being done with softball and school and growing up kinda deal. you know, moving on and growing up?? yea. i didn't want that just yet, but i don't have to grow up. =) i'm at rvr and i can still be a kid and a grown up at the same time.. how lucky am i? i wonder where the Lord will take me after this year. it's fun waiting and knowing He is writing my story. there is beauty in the waiting. i love that.. it's not always easy waiting upon the Lord, but the only way to go! =) isn't is reassuring that you aren't in control, that you don't write your life story, that someone who loves you and knows you better than you know yourself is writing your story with perfect hands?? ah, i am captivated by Him.

Lord give me one pure and holy passion, give me one magnificent obsession. give me one glorious ambition for my life, to know and follow hard after you.

coming up for air.

hmmm. my b. it's been a while.. that's cause we have been busier than normal. this is me coming up for air and taking a break.. i have realized the more i grow in my faith that i need alone time.. i actually got a great day and a half just sitting, being, being with my Lord. it was last weekend.. the rest of the interns went to jersey to bill's house.. i really really wanted to go, but i knew that i needed some time with the Lord and time alone.. i needed to talk to Him, to read His word, and to just be with Him. it's hard to find time like that these days. we are basically out in the morning and not back until night and there are so many things we have to get done. i know i am here to work and i am not complaining by any means, it just shows me that i need to make time for the Lord. if it requires less sleep than i must do that. i need that time with Him to grow and to keep myself in check to serve Him with my whole heart. it's amazing how not spending time with Him and in His word really effects me.. more than i knew it did until i started to spend less time. i had a rough night last night.. you know how sometimes you just get down? really for no reason, just everything seems to weigh a lot more than it really does. yeah, it was a need to talk to mommy night. i hate times like that and at the same time i know that i have to go through them.. God uses everything and every time in my life. i know that i must go through highs and lows.. i just really felt the spiritual warfare on my heart last night.. it was weird.. then God gave me exactly what i needed the next morning.. how awesome He always is!! i get up at 6am to run with one of our director's wife and she didnt show this morning.. i couldn't be happier, not that i didnt have to run, but that God was giving me the time i needed to spend with Him!! it makes me wanna cry, but why should i be surprised??? He ALWAYS takes care of me. i got to spend the time i needed with Him this morning.. thank you Lord.. i am so in Love with you.. please let Your light shine through me, through the darkness.

to update on what we are doing.. we have been hosting retreats like usual and also working on our annual corn maize!! it is a 6 acre corn maize that is open every sat this october.. it is basically a little fall festival type deal.. so cute and i can not wait to run/play in it! i cant wait for some rvr/ liberty people to come visit that i have gotten to know! they are so fun and really are sold out for the Lord. i love that. we have been cleaning a lot and working meals.. pretty normal stuff.. we have also been working on our support letters to send out and raise support to work the internship.. i am well on my way from selling tie-dye t-shirts.. it has really been such a blessing to see the sales.. i am really grateful and humbled that they have been selling.. i know it is the work of the Lord. so, this is random, but i have been thinking/praying about missions.. it's just been on my mind so i will keep praying and thinking about it. love yall.

-beth.

just an update. =)

ah, well it's late, but the beautiful thing about that is that i get to sleep in.. i am working the retreat this weekend and that means i dont have to go in until 1. beautiful.. so tomorrow i will sleep for a while and then wake up and take a run! i have really gotten into running.. cant wait until my first race in october.. its just a 5k, no big thing, just the first one i have gotten to run because i always had softball before.. so i am really excited the be the support host this weekend with chris.. he is mad hilarious and i have sooo much fun with him. =) i will blog about the adventures i am sure we are going to have after the weekend.. the past couple days have been pretty chill.. we have started working/setting up our corn maze.. its a 6 acre field of corn made into a maze. i can not wait until it's done! i have heard so many fun things about it and you know the kid in me loves that kinda stuff =) i weeded forever the other day. no fun, but it's gotta get done lol. i got to work paintball today and i got lit up by this kid one round! haha i was kinda mad, but couldn't help laughing my head off. i also got to work with the horses the other day and help run the trail rides.. i brought up the rear. =) on a side note, i am on playing fantasy football in the league here at RVR with Hannah and we are doing so well!! won our first match up with over 100 points!! ohh yeahhh! i really enjoy it.. last night the interns and brad went to an orioles game.. we got free tickets.. what a blessing! we had a good time.. i love our crew. i love the people at rvr. the place. the joy. the love. the land. the laughs. but most of all i love the Godliness here.

on a spiritual note.. im growing.. so much.. i am still struggling with an issue and praying that He continues to work on my heart.. it's places like this where i realize how much more i need to grow. i am so humbled by just working here and being around people that truly love the Lord. i love the Lord, but i want to be a picture of His love for His people. the women here have truly impacted me without even knowing it. i need to be more humble and peaceful and loving. i want and desire to have a gentle spirit that radiates for the Lord.. this is my prayer that i would become like that. that i would be a humble person with a loving gentle heart Lord. work in me, in my heart, and in my life. make less of me and more of you in my life.. i must decrease and you must increase. help me to love, be love, and live love. Amen.

beth.

You are the vine!

God, my God, you are so faithful.

He never lets us down does He? naw, never. So I really don't have a purpose or point for this blog other than i just wanna ramble.. =) this week has been an up and down one, but a great one =) without the downs we would never grow in our walks or in our faith. work is wonderful and i really wouldn't have it any other way. we basically worked our first retreats this week and weekend.. it was actually really fun.. i love doing work for people and seeing how grateful they are. so rewarding. we clean a lot and you know what? i really don't mind it! it is actually pretty fun getting to talk to the gang and be dorks and sing and just do whatever you feel like doing as long as you are cleaning and getting the job done =) =) we as interns actually do pretty much every job they have here in some way, shape, or form. haha.. for these past few retreats i have worked the zip line, in the kitchen, cleaned a lot, been a server, worked with the horses, and was supposed to work with paintball, but it was raining and they didn't need me. that is just a list of what i did. my fellow interns did a lot of other things as well that we will each be switching in and out of on the different weekends..love my job.

so, my last blog was pretty much about a struggle of mine.. i hate having struggles, but i love it at the same time because i know when i am struggling i am growing. see i know that running to the Lord for guidance won't fail us and i learn that every time i run to Him, so why don't i run to Him right away??? well cause i am a human who is too small to do it alone.. i need Him far more than i know and i am coming to realize that the more and more i grow. i need Him for everything... i can not do any of the things i have done, am doing, and will do without Him. one of my favorite verses is John 15:5.. I am the vine and you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him will bare much fruit. For apart from me you can do NOTHING. Wow, hits ya hard sometimes.. even when writing i learn. I so badly need to live out the fruits of the Spirit and i have been running to the Lord for that in my life and with this verse i learn i can accomplish living out the fruits if i abide in Him and He in i. apart from Him i can do nothing.. nothing. it is all Him in me. i write these things really to remind myself that it isn't me who produces the fruit.. it isn't me who does great things, but Jesus Christ who lives in me and works through me. see i have realized how far from perfect i am.. how nasty my heart is.. i am so thankful i have Him living and working in me because i could never produce any fruit being the nasty person i am without Him.

thank you God for your truths, for your word, for your faithfulness in my life, for living in me, for using me, for molding me. i am nothing without You. continue to work in my life getting rid of those nasty parts of me that do not bring You glory. i love you, Amen.

your daughter,
beth.

keeping on keeping on.

ugh. i didn't wanna blog tonight, but ended up doing it anyway.. i had such a great day, but i feel the spiritaul battle going on in my heart. it's been a hard past 2 days in that area.. i am feeling far more distracted than normal and not talking to the Lord as much as i would like. i need to get some better time management huh?? i can see something that will be a struggle for me all year long if i don't go to the Lord to help me with it. He is so much bigger than me, right? Right! so, i know this too shall pass and that i need to constantly go to Him in prayer.. today was a really long day and our first working a retreat... tomorrow will be the same.. i am loving it like always, but my heart being under attack is starting to bear down on me. sometimes i don't know how to deal with situations like these to be honest. He is my help and my guide. i will follow Him.

Lord, help me in the areas that i fail in. help me to seek you first. i fail so often and i need to turn to you more than i do. mold and shape me Lord through every circumstance. please give me self-control over my mouth and my emotions. it's all for You. Amen.

along the journey..
beth.

Tie Dye Shirts for sale!!!

So, I am still selling tie dye t-shirts, pillow cases, and tank tops to raise support for my internship here at the ranch. Please help support me in this ministry. The Lord has brought me here for a reason and I know He will provide. If you would like to buy an item please contact me at 804-514-1320 or by e-mail at ebbennett@liberty.edu There will be a small shipping fee, but it will only be a few dollars. Everything is $15 and it all goes to supporting me! If the Lord leads you to giving more be my guest! I look forward to hearing from you soon!!

In Him,
beth.

mandatory fun day/ day off/ a little bit of work/ thoughts? haha

Sunday, Matt took us to Pretty Boy Reservoir.. it was an awesome 5 mile hike with hills, rocks, and crazy small paths.. we ended at the Pretty Boy Dam, which was pretty amazing it self. I was pretty proud of myself being able to make it with my legs just getting back into action.. my calves were pretty darn sore the next day! =) it's a good thing though. On our hike Sarah, LaDessa, and Ryan got attacked by bees cause someone made them angry! haha Ryan got stung 3 times.. sad day.. haha anyways.. our fearless leader was Doc Holiday.. the beautiful dog above. There was an awesome tree that Matt found on our hike back so we decided to have a little photo shoot. It wasn't that easy for me to get up there, but I did! haha We stopped by the dam and Matt talked to us about what we want to make this year for ourselves. Man the thoughts were going wild in my head.. there are so many things I want to do here.. I want to grow in my faith.. not just grow, but reallllyyy become an image of Christ. There are so many things that I have to work on. The Lord is helping me in those areas that need some cleaning up in my life. =) My goal is to truly live with a heart that has all the fruit's of the Spirit. I want to live a life of humility that, if I am truly honest with my self, I fall pretty short of.

Yesterday was our first day off! Let me tell you, I love not being in school! haha random thought I know, but now my days off aren't spent catching up on school work that is impossible to get done during the week playing softball and going to class at the same time! Anyway, I woke up and got a great run in.. I have been running regularly now and am so grateful that the surgery has fixed my legs!! Truly a blessing from the Lord. He always takes care of me and I am so undeserving. Then my crew and I went to Chic-fil-a and got our free sandwiches because it was represent your team day so we had to wear sports jerseys or clothing. There were 4 of us wearing clothes that I had from the redskins, nationals, liberty softball, and sandy cove! haha I loved it so much.. then we headed to walmart and got some goodies. The boys went and bought rock band and so we obviously came back and played that for a while.. =)

Thanks for reading.. love yall!

God, use this internship to change my life, my heart, and my soul. Use it to grow me in my faith and mold me into a woman after your own heart. Give me one pure and holy passion, to know and follow hard after you.

Week 1 in a nut shell!

So, I have decided to start blogging about my internship (GPS) at River Valley Ranch. It is an internship that helps you grow in your faith while training you for full-time camp ministry. It's called GPS. I have loved every minute of it so far. I know there will be challenges, as there are many challenges in life, but I am excited to see how the Lord works in me and my life through them. I do feel like I am in a bubble here, but I love that. Sometimes I get homesick which is new for me. I guess since I don't have much time to talk I have really begun to miss my friends and family back in powhatan and in the burg. So far this place has really captured my heart. I want to share my experiences with others and this is a way I can do that.

Ahhh, where to begin with week 1??
Well, can I just say that the other 5 interns are sooooo much fun! There is Bill, Ryan, Taco, Sarah, and LaDessa. We are all from many different stages of life and come from many different backgrounds, but couldn't fit together more perfectly. I already see that we are becoming a family and really, that's what I was so hoping for! The Lord is good, what can I say?? =) We have done so much stuff already and it has only been a week. Well, there was a massive flood here at the ranch and so a lot of our first day was cleaning up. We have been training on all the different activties and playing on them too..shhh, don't tell. =) Our boss is Matt. What an awesome man of God who is soooo chill! He is married to Michelle, who is such an awesome woman, and they are expecting their first baby in October! It's a little girl! We have also done a lot of outdoors stuff like hiking, horseback riding, climbing, and a SOLO. So I know you are wondering what a SOLO is. Basically it is 24 hours in the woods alone, just you and God with no other distractions. It was an amazing experience that challenged me and allowed me to focus on spending time with the Lord and spending time in His word. I was able to talk to God with no other distractions on my mind. It was something I needed so bad. We also were shown around town the other day. It was so much fun. We have already hit Rita's up twice. We are running outta time cause they close in October!! I can't believe how well the group gets along. It is a blessing for sure. I know there will be tough days, but I know we will work through things. =) The full-time staff here are such wonderful people. I have felt so welcome and loved from day 1! So we have already compiled a huge list of quotes and inside jokes and stories.. love it. I think I am going to start a list of it right now. =)
Boomstang!! (our group saying!)

"That's a big one!" -Matt (talking about gunshots, but at the wrong time when i was going on the big swing)
"Who made the bee's angry?... RUNNN!!!!- Sarah & LaDessa
"Good morning!!- Me (when everyone came to get me from my SOLO spot)
Matt; What are you all going to do tonight?Interns: Get into trouble... We are going to break rule #1.Michaele: What is rule #1?Interns: Leave the bison alone.Michelle: ohhh, They don't really come to the fence anyway. Well, they will if you have corn.Interns: ohhhh... so we need corn....
"Bunny!"-Me

Believe me, there are more to come and that have already happened. I just can't remember. Oh, and the food here is fantasic!! YUUMMM.

-beth.