to love and be loved.. that is the struggle.

oh man, it has been an eventful past few days.. not just with actual events, but with actual struggles and growth in my walk or better yet the beginning of great growth. first, i must start and bring everyone up to date on what has been going on in my life.. this weekend was the last weekend of corn maize and it was also the weekend that my first race took place! i was blessed to have my mother come and visit me and run the race with me. she did great for her first trail race plus having bad knees... i finished 2nd in my age division out of 18 girls and was the 5th overall girl to finish the race. =) not bad for a first timer. it was such a fun day because betsy and i both dressed up like waldo's girlfriend (she is real, look her up) for the race. i wore the same costume all day at the corn maize.. that night one of the full-time staff members had a costume party and i was a hippie.. go figure :) i have seen God working on me through people here at the ranch.. long story short God is so faithful, but that's nothing new. just wanted to let you know that my prayers are being answered right in front of my eyes. i am loving every aspect of the ranch, my fellow interns, the full-time staff, and the people i get to serve. my love for my fellow interns is growing and growing and i know they are becoming part of my family. it is not always easy to love.. we have days where it is just plain hard.. there are days people are just plain hard to love, but you wanna know my greater struggle than loving others? it is accepting Christ's love. to be completely honest, that is what i am struggling with.. i love Him oh, how i love Him, but i am having a hard time accepting and knowing His love.. my mind is so limited to knowing that type of love.. we don't experience that type of love anywhere else but from Him from Christ himself and since i only know the love i have felt on this earth it is so hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that his love is different... His love is limitless. yes, i know these things, but to truly feel it, to truly believe it, to truly live it.. that is my struggle. Lord, open my heart to accepting and knowing all the love you have for me. i know there is nothing i can do to earn or lose His love for me, but why does my mind work like it does? to accept your love, the love you have for me that is never ending, that is my desire.. to love and be loved by you.

learning to accept His love,

beth.