i should not be good at this..

we are about halfway through our internship here at RVR... pretty crazy, pretty awesome. along with many many other things i have discovered about myself at the ranch, i have discovered that i am very good at catching every sickness that comes my way. in the past 2 months i have been sick probably around 5 times.. something is not right.. as soon as i stop playing softball and start life in the real world i stopped catching softballs and started catching colds.. (drums please) i know horrible joke, but i couldn't resist. :)

the past 2 days the interns and i spent our workdays in the barn with biz and morgan learning about our horsemanship program and our horse aspect of camp. it is the first of our "rotation" of working the different aspects of camp that RVR has to offer. i am pretty excited about this part. i want to be able to relate to everyone in camp ministry no matter what field they are in. so this is the beginning of that :) our past 2 days included tacking up the horses, grooming them, training some of them, scooping poop, feeding, trail rides, and learning how to ride them better with lessons and games. i grew up around horses so it all wasn't new to me. i still learned a lot more than i did about horses and taking care of them. i really like riding horses even though i am horrible at it. horses are funny and each have very different personalities.. that is very evident when you ride multiple horses in a day. all in all, i have enjoyed the past 2 days.

on a personal note.. i wrote about things being heavy lately.. still don't really know why, but i think i can blame the weather for some of it.. it's snowing again and i am just ready for sunshine! this may sound a bit funny and minute, but i have really been missing softball, being a student, and just being able to work summer camps in the summer. it's something i think graduates hit soon after they enter the real world.. i guess it took me a few months.. the transition is now hitting me. i love where i am and i love growing up and growing in my faith, but i think it is always hard to leave the consistency of life. going to school, playing softball, working at camp, and then repeating. it was normal and it was consistent, something that became somewhat of a routine for me, my life. now, things are different. not bad different, just different. different is good, but sometimes takes a little while to grasp that life changes and moves on. it's hard to believe that something i have been a part of since the time i was 4 is done. over. finished... just like that, it didn't gradually stop, but just stopped. i knew it was coming, but wasn't quite prepared for it. season started a few weeks ago for liberty.. maybe that's why i am now feeling it because I find myself working instead of being on the field. God used softball in my life and now it is time to move on to something different. i used to be a softball player, but i am still a vessel willing and waiting to be used by Him.

stumbling along,
beth.

this weight is heavy..

another week gone and another week in this internship of learning and growth. last sunday was valentine's day.. the interns and i went out with my boyfriend stephen..we had plans to go to outback, but a 3 hour wait was a little much.. we went to ihop instead. a wonderful alternative when you are all dressed up :) i had such a wonderful time. i love seeing people i love all together.. it is one of the biggest blessings in life. later that evening, stephen and i went to grab dessert at one of our favorite restaurant's. the table next to us was a family that had gone to the cove for a few summers and were one of my favorite families that really impacted my life. i hadn't seen them in a few summers so it was such a blessing how God places little wonderful surprises in our lives.

winter meltdown number 4 finished today.. another successful weekend of sharing Christ with teenagers. something wasn't right with me.. i felt the weight of everything in my life the whole weekend.. it turns out that i have a big decision to make about the summer and i am at a loss of what to decide.. for some reason it's weighing on me heavier than i thought. i think it may have carried over into the weekend.. i am still feeling it now. i believe that spiritual warfare is a real thing.. a thing that most of us don't like talking about, me included. satan attacks in many different ways, shapes, and forms. this weekend i felt under attack. when it came time to recite my long poem i was feeling extra hot and my mouth was abnormally dry. i didn't think too much about it.. that doesn't really effect me because this was my 4th time saying this poem.. i wasn't nervous.. close to a 3rd of the way through i was so hot and my mouth was so dry i didn't know how the words were coming out of my mouth. i was speaking and thinking different things.. in my mind i was freaking out, but the words of the poem were pouring out..i finished and i was shaking.. i know it wasn't nerves because i would have stopped and i would have not been able to finish.. God was the one speaking, He was the one moving my lips and speaking the words...in my head i heard mumbling.. in the speakers i heard words.. words of His poem.. satan didn't want people to hear it, God had other plans.. God had BIGGER plans.. thank you God for picking me up for being my Savior and for being my Hero.
it almost happened again today.. it was starting to happen, but stopped when i was finished.. i don't know what is going on, but i know i have someone protecting me and fulfilling His plans regardless of what the ruler of this evil world wants..

loved,
beth.

snow, recruiting, snow, winter meltdown, snow!

well in the past week and a half there has been more snow to go around for the whole winter! we ended up having to cancel our 3rd weekend of winter meltdown and move it to a later date in march due to 30 inches of snow we got that weekend! it wasn't so bad being snowed in at the ranch with everyone else.. we had games and community meals and some time to play in all that snow! after a weekend of relaxing and being stranded i headed down to liberty with the recruiting team to try and recruit some summer staff. it was a great week and great experience for my passion to grow in camp ministry. we were there from monday to friday. talking and standing are more exhausting than you would think! there were times when 4 interviews were going on at once. it was nice to sit in on a few interviews and see how it's done. i got to see the burg again and visit with some good friends.. for the first 2 nights i was blessed to have stayed with a couple that i met a little over 4 years ago at liberty. we actually worked together at sandy cove for 4 summers as well. it was so fun staying with them in their cute house. the next night i got to stay with my pastor and his wife. first donna and i grabbed some dinner and then headed to our church's ladies Bible study that i haven't been able to attend for a long time.. it was a breath of fresh air. i do miss liberty, softball, the burg, and discover church, but i really just miss the relationships i made there.. i am convinced it's the only downside to growing up and moving away.. the relationships are still there just not face to face..after our last day of recruiting we jumped back in the van and drove back to RVR where an hour later we kicked off our 3rd weekend of winter meltdown. talk about being tired.. yeah, my eyes are heavy as we speak.. haha since we have close to 3ft of snow on the ground we had to cancel our outdoor activities..BUT we ended up having basically a huge snow festival.. i was curious as to how it would look, but it was so much fun.. we had a snow man building contest, a snow cone station(the kind you eat), broom ball on our frozen pool, football games, and tubing!! while i was in lynchburg the rvr staff created 3 tubing paths on our massive hills here at the ranch.. it was soo much fun and so fast!! i stood at the top of the paths watching people walking up the hill, people tubing down, and people laughing at the bottom of the hill and it brought me so much joy seeing people enjoy their time. that's one of my favorite things about camp ministry. we just ended the weekend a couple hours ago and i believe like every weekend it was a huge success.. some more children came to know the Lord.. what could make a weekend more successful?? nothing..

during the recruiting trip i figured out what i will be doing this summer. i am going to be the teen adventure camp girls counselor.. it's somewhat weird for me to picture myself being a counselor after 4 summers of experience in other fields, but it is a humbling one as well. i know it will be tons of fun, i just want to make sure i stay positive and open to what the Lord may want me to learn. when i say humble myself i am not saying that about being a counselor, but humbling myself dealing with my own selfish thoughts. i know the first lesson is to humble myself, be less selfish, and follow...

beth.

take 2!

winter meltdown weekend number 2 is done! it finished up 2 days ago.. i wanted to blog about it earlier, but i got busy doing some stuff around the house so i am now :) it was once again a great and fun weekend. it was jr and sr high this weekend, so it was harder to get the kids to focus and listen, but i know the Lord was working regardless of that. i was a little more tired this weekend and therefore it was harder to stay energized... glad i got my girl LaDessa to help me with that! haha more importantly the Lord was giving me the strength and energy to help run the program well.. for some reason i felt a little distracted this weekend, but the Lord brought me right back where i needed to be every time. i think i was a little dehydrated as well so reciting my poems was a little more difficult.. well, i guess all that was to say that the Lord is my strength!! :) winter meltdown is such a cool program. it has some pretty powerful skits, dramas, poems, videos, and other ways kids can see the Lord. it is great to see it all come together.. another cool aspect is that our staff all comes together. we are growing so much closer and with the staff families as well. it is very unusual to see all the ranch families together and i am loving it! it is a cool thing that we get to reach kids for the Lord all while growing as a camp family. i like this camp ministry stuff. :) the Lord is good. i am reminded that He is in control daily. in a conversation i just recently had i realized this truth yet again. Lord, thank you. just thank you for being in control of my life and for being my Savior. i need only You.

humbled by His grace,
beth.

oh man, what a night! wait, i mean weekend!

sometimes we experience things in life that just blow us away. some things are so simple and some so complex. either way it is hard to put into words how exactly you felt. i am relaxing on my day off after an awesome weekend of the first winter meltdown program. i am reflecting on how much God showed up, how much He used us as a staff, and how much i grew as well. i must admit that i was excited for winter meltdown, but i was also so nervous that i wouldn't have minded if it never came. don't get me wrong i really couldn't wait, but you know how nerves can make you feel sometimes! i really had no idea what to expect because we weren't told too much, but we had the big picture just no little details. i guess that is a good thing so we wouldn't go into it with expectations! my role was to recite poems...4 of them to be exact. a few short and a few long. one was about 2 and a half minutes! well, now you see why i was so nervous.. i love being in front of people, but memorizing stuff isn't my thing. now, looking back after the first weekend i am so grateful, thankful, and honored for the opportunity the Lord placed in my hands. i was so far outside of my comfort zone, but so grateful for it because outside of that zone is where you grow and experience God in ways you can't inside your comfort zone. you wouldn't think something as simple as having to memorize some poems would make such a huge difference in my walk with God. i was in constant prayer the whole weekend for the children and for the Lord to be my memory and calm my nerves.. He showed up so big.. each poem went so smoothly and i had no problems! it was not me at all, but the Lord speaking through me. man, i am so grateful for Him in my life! my coworkers and i were in constant prayer for each other as well. it helped me grow in so many ways praying for each other and for the Lord to use us. we grew so much closer as a group. it is amazing when you do something for the Lord. it is easy to get lost in doing things for ourselves, but i pray that i will not get lost in that and that everything i do would be for the glory of the Lord. not only did i grow in my walk, but i also had fun! just because i was working the program didn't mean i couldn't participate with the youth. haha it was a blast. the kids had so much fun as well. the Lord was really moving in their hearts.. around 5 people got saved and some rededicated their lives. we can never truly know the hearts of people, but i so believe that some of these kids came to know the Lord and experience Him in ways they had never before. i am blessed to be a part of this ministry and honored that the Lord would use someone as imperfect as me to give Him glory. i am unworthy and so so grateful.

Lord, thank you for using me for your glory! may i never get lost in giving the glory to myself. keep me humble and continue to use winter meltdown to bring children to You and Your Son!
Amen.

walking in His footprints,
beth.

firsts.

this past weekend i hosted my first retreat.. i was sick as a dog so i was honestly dreading the weekend.. i was afraid i wasn't going to be able to serve the group like i wanted to with the spirit i wanted to. God proved to be big again. why do we even doubt!? why are we even anxious and why do we even worry?! sometimes i don't get why we do all these things when we KNOW he is in control. i guess thats the flesh in us. the group was so easy to take care of. they were so organized and so easy going. it was such a blessing to me because it made my work load light and stress levels low. all which helped my sick body heal. i thought i might not be prepared to host a retreat, but God proved other wise. i may not have been ready, but He was ready to serve through me. He made things smooth and prepared me to work out the details and the requirements that were needed to be done to host a retreat.. what a big God we serve. what an AWESOME God we serve.

the interns and i just got back from our first CCCA (camp and conference center association) sectional conference. it was 3 days and 2 nights in northern pa at tuscarora inn. the camps that were in the region all came together to meet, talk, fellowship, worship, learn in workshops, learn from speakers, and to connect with each other. i was very excited to experience the conference because i knew i would learn a lot from like minded people who were already in the camp ministry. i hear encouraging, honest, real, discouraging, sad, hopeful, and glorifying stories about the lives of people and the situations of some camps. i realized i have been blessed to work at 2 very healthy successful camps. it may not have always been that way and there may be hard times in the future, but i have been blessed to be part of the great times. i have learned so much from sandy cove and rvr about camp ministry and i am so thankful for that experience. i am also thankful to have been able to go the sectional and learn more about other camps and how they run. i went to a marketing class for the fun of it. i have no experience or really knowledge of anything that marketing entails except for the obvious things. the workshop was led by gregg hunter who is the new CEO/president of the CCCA. he definitely knows his stuff and i took 3 pages of notes in the class! i was a little nervous to go to that workshop because i knew it was going to be an interactive one and i knew with my little knowledge and experience with marketing that i wouldn't have much to offer the group or the people. i ended up just listening to the other directors and workers share their situations and the others giving advice and it was very informative. i didn't contribute to the conversations, but i was surprised that i could actually relate and that i did have experiences to share if needed or i wanted to. i guess i sell myself short at times.. another bad habit. :) it was an overall great experience that i got to share with both the interns from rvr and my previous boss' from sandy cove. both groups i consider family so what better way to spend time at a conference. on a side note they brought in a husband and wife who had this hilarious game show set up called the brain show. it was so much fun and i got to participate with 2 other interns.. my previous boss' were chosen to participate as well.. TOO FUNNY.

today we got back from the sectional after a 40 min stop to change a flat tire.. eh, no biggie for these ranch boys.. glad it wasn't my car or it would have been a few hours.. we ran through our winter meltdown program that starts tomorrow night! yea, it was the first time we ran through it.. crazy i know. my role is to recite 4 poems (from memory!) to a couple 100 kids each session.. yeah, im pretty nervous. ok, really nervous so if you think of it please say a prayer for me! the poems are memorized, but you know sometimes how your mind can blank when you are nervous.. this is something i am trying to trust the Lord with that He will speak through me.. well, here is to tomorrow! Lord, please give me the memory that is strong enough to remember the poems that i have memorized. thank you that they are already memorized.. i know that was You. please use this winter meltdown to touch the lives of the youth who come through and may it all be used for your glory! i love you!! amen,

following Him,
beth.

what hope is found in this..

so, i have been reading a one year Bible every day that takes me through Genesis, Matthew, Psalm, and Proverbs each reading. i have realized i am a huge fan of this. keeps my mind occupied. i must admit that i am excited when it comes time for me to sit down and read. i have never been much of an old testament kind of person (which we should be a whole Bible kind of people! ha), but i have always had a desire to learn from it and know the history of it. yeah, i know the sunday school stories, but i have never taken the time to really sit and read it all. there are certain old testament books that i love and have read and studied quite a bit, but the time has come that i need and want to learn about it all. i didn't really have any expectations about how i would feel or what would be spoken to me reading through Genesis, but i didn't expect to have a passion and desire to read more and more of it. i am loving reading through Genesis. i have loved reading about abraham and his wives and children. when reading about him and his journey i have come across some odd and somewhat disturbing facts about his life and at the same time these facts give me and believers everywhere hope. see abraham lied and said that his wife sarah was his sister. (i know she really was, but he wasn't telling the truth by not saying she was his wife) i realize this was done out of fear and in hopes of protecting both of them, but it struck me as odd. didn't abraham fully trust that the Lord would take care of him?? wasn't that what he is known for? wasn't abraham a man that was so close to the Lord and one that the Lord loved and trusted and saw his complete devotion to him?? yeah, he was. abraham made some weird decisions and mistakes, but the Lord still loved him, called him to greatness, used him, trusted him, blessed him, and called him one of his own! what a hope is found in that we too can be all those things even when we lack faith and make mistakes! abraham was still used by God and was blessed and used immensely. when realizing this my mind was directed to the life of david. david was considered a man after God's own heart after all the horrible things he did!! that should give all of us believers hope that we too can be men and women after God's own heart no matter what we have done. it matters where your heart is now.. it matters what your actions are now.. not what you have done and where you have been. i have a hope that means it is never too late to live for the Lord with a heart that is completely devoted to Him..

Lord, thank you for these reminders through your word and your truth. may i continue to see hope and truth through my readings through all you have written. may i never forget that you love us through everything we have done. may i never look back on where i have been, but rather look forward to how i can grow and serve you better.

filled with hope,
beth.