back at it..

im back!

summer camp is over.. my time at rvr has ended and my new life in cecil county maryland has begun! so much has happened in my life since i have last written.. a whole summer of camp! camp was great and so challenging.. i am happy to be "home." i have learned that home isn't where you are from, but where the ones you love are. during the summer i was in pursuit of a job and at times worried that i wouldn't have anywhere to live or any income at all.. well, God always provides and i now live with an amazing family and i now have a job at a wonderful organization called NorthBay. i am part of the outdoor education program as a member on the night operations team. my goal is to one day be an educator, but as for now i am just blessed to have a job at a place that offers that! i can learn and gain experience at an organization i can possibly work my way up in. i love it already. so God is good all the time..not just because i have a place to live or a job to work, but because He always takes care of his children.. He made a way for me to come "home" to the people i love.

blessed,
beth.

graduation, vacation, and the start of summer sensation!

ok summer sensation means summer camp... i just wanted to keep the theme going :) yeah so it's been a few weeks and i hate to say i think it is going to become a summer trend. i get internet access around once a week now that camp has begun. the first week of actual campers doesn't start till sunday, but after that i won't be blogging much because i will be crazy busy working and serving the Lord at RVR!

i graduated from the internship about 2 weeks ago. it was a special evening! we were allowed to invite guests and of course i invited my camp family from sandy cove. my cove family and the ranch family together.. it was lovely. watched a slide show, ate some good food, gave some speeches, and gave some gifts! i am going to miss being a group of 6 with those guys. some of my greatest friendships are coming out of this program.

after graduation stephen and i headed on a road trip throughout virginia! our first stop was lynchburg, va where i went to college and played ball! visited my softball coach and then met up with my pastor and his wife, one of my best friends! dinner with Donna and Darren was so needed and so refreshing.. i was reminded of how much i truly miss them and valued their friendship and example in my life. on our way to Powhatan after dinner we stopped to visit my grandmother who lived right on the way. it was a lovely visiting and we had some much needed quality time.

got to powhatan and spent the next day and a half with mommy. got to see my best friend since 1st grade! kristin was our waitress for lunch so it was a great way to get to see her even though she had to work. after lunch we had some down time and reading time. waited for mommy to get home and then we made our way to my other grandparents side. had great time with them and then ate some dinner with mommy at a bbq place.

the next morning mommy and i made some breakfast before stephen and i made our way to dad's bay house. for our last day and a half we spent time with daddy and some other friends as well as my sister. we rode jet skis, laid out, got some sun, went swimming, through a softball, did some reading, walked around, ate some ice cream, ate some good meals, and enjoyed some time of my dad's story telling.. i missed those days!

what a great vacation to start off a great summer... it is now orientation week at the Ranch.. last week was leadership week.. things are going great.. there is still a lot that needs to be done, but i have released it to the Lord.. i am struggling between freaking out and trusting Him completely, but i can do it! my counselors are solid and i cant wait to see how the Lord uses them.. i am just praying i can be a help to that and encourage them as well. please be in prayer for me throughout the summer that the Lord would work through me and give me wisdom and strength to run the program well!

Lord, you are in control.. control me.. be my focus and take my stress and anxiety away.. give me wisdom and direction to lead this program well. i love you! amen.

back from Italy! :)

what an adventure these past few weeks have been..

before i left for italy, i spent some lovely time with a lovely gentleman. it has been a pleasure learning and growing by his side.

my trip began with a very bumpy flight over to london.. thankfully i was traveling with my friend val who i could grab if i got scared.. i love flying, but every time i have to get used to going through some rough terbulance. i got over it :) we made it to pisa safe and sound, but there was one problem.. we were traveling separate from the other part of our group and their flights got delayed. while we were supposed to meet them at the air port we ended up meeting them 4 hours later at our B&B in the town of Lucca. needless to say, val and i found our way around and made it to the B&B.. we are quite the travelers :)

we stayed in Lucca for a night and toured the city and had our first of many great meals. from Lucca we went and stayed in another B&B in Levanto, which is a city outside of the Cinque Terra. did some sight seeing and hiking the next few days. italy is full of beautiful architecture and beautiful landscapes. a highlight of my time in Levanto was a morning at breakfast when i was reading my Bible and was interrupted to my friend Kat giving me a gift Stephen had given her to give to me on our 6th month anniversary. i know, he is a special man! another highlight was hiking the via del amore (the lover's lane). it is a cute little hike full of graffti all about love. there is a seat where couples can sit and there are many many locks locked all over the fencing and wires to symbolize their love locking together forever :)

we stayed in Vernazza one night and did some shopping and had a beautiful meal on the cliffs of the city. next, we traveled to Venice for 3 nights.. it is a beautiful city, but full of tourists. i guess i can't be mad because i was a tourist myself. haha stayed in a beautiful B&B that was 1,500 years old.. they don't make em like that in america! haha experienced the beauty and romance of the city. it was a wonderful trip. i loveeeeeeeeeeee the italian way of eating and sitting for hours at meals. had my first dish of wine and cheese.. of course if you know me i fell in love.

british airways in fact went on strike causing val and i to be possibly be stranded in italy, but thankfully Lori's hubby Mark came to our rescue and had our flights switched.. we were on a better airline and arrived 4 hours earlier back to the states, which allowed me to have dinner with my love and get back to the ranch at a decent hour to catch up on my sleep. man, it is so awesome to look back and see where the Lord's hands were at work... it could have been a disaster, but he turned a not so good situation into a wonderful one.

Lord, thank you for providing for me and my trip and having you hand at work every part of the way. Amen.

beth.

what an adventure..

it is the first day back to work after our intern camping trip.. i don't even know where to begin with this trip. it was exciting and adventurous and full of many different surprises in many different shapes and forms. the first day we got to Assateague we were supposed to canoe out to our campsite but the wind was too strong for us to paddle through the water so we decided to hike 5 miles to our site. we packed up gear that would be good for one night and food as well and started our hike on the beach (sand) to our campsite called pine tree. we were back country camping so you could not drive to your site. like i said our site was 5 miles away. well we got lost. real lost and we couldnt find our site anywhere. well we went off the beach towards the bay and hiked through marsh, creeks, horse poop, and everything else you can imagine for an extra 2 miles.. we didnt find pine tree. we ended up having to set up camp in a random place that is prohibited for people to be on.. we made jokes that not even chuck norris would camp there.. haha it was cold and windy, but after close to 7 hours of hiking we set up camp and had a good meal, a short devo, and hit the sheets.. we were completely exhausted. the next morning the boys left us girls at camp to clean and pack while they searched for our camp site.. turns out that our site was a mile down from where we were.. they came back got us and we picked up our gear and headed to pine tree to drop our gear off. we set up camp and turned around and hiked back to our canoes, but we did not have to walk the last mile or so because a nice couple gave us a ride!! woohoo shout out to bill and inga! got the rest of our gear and food and loaded up the canoes and canoed 5 miles to our site.. we were so tired that the next day we did nothing but sleep, eat, and read the whole day..haha the next day we packed up camp and canoed another 5 miles back.. we drove down to great falls va and ate some outback for dinner!! :) the next morning we went climbing and site seeing at the falls.. the day started off a little rocky when we found out we had to pay more than what they advertised, but it turned into a wonderful day. it was a great trip full of fun and growing as well as tiring mentally, physically, and emotionally. i am so happy that i was with the group i was with.. everyone kept good attitudes and stayed calm. we went through a lot and made it out alive together. i am going to miss this group... a whole lot.

grateful,

beth.

heading out for a little while..

as we speak i am in the middle of hosting a retreat. this group is great and i am very thankful for that as the weather may hinder parts of our day. leading up to this retreat i could see how the devil was trying to ruin plans and bring me down.. funny how times we can see that and other times we can not.. i prayed so much that the Lord would give me strength to resist freaking out. :) i must say it has worked.. i rode the line at times, but God always pulled me back. clinging to the fact that His joy is our strength.

tomorrow morning the interns and i will pack up the van and head down to assateague, md for some canoeing and camping for 3 nights.. we will then head to great falls, va for one night of camping and 2 days of climbing.. so i will be gone and away for this next week and then when i get back i will work 3 days and pack up again and head to the fisher's house for a few nights and then head to italy for 8 days!! sad ill be missing my 6 month anniversary with Stephen, but hey it still counts ;) this month of may is going to be great.. hoping to blog about my adventures as soon as i return from both trips..

love,
beth.

learning.

i've been learning things all my life, but it seems that has been the theme of these past 10 days. i have been learning patience, learning to trust more, learning to stay positive, learning to have faith in all things, learning how to work in different atmospheres, and learning a lot about myself. maybe it's part of the first year after school and on your own kinda thing. i have really been anxious about what's next for me.. what is the next step of my life after the internship? i've been weighing a few options and most of them are jobs you can work without a college degree.. do i care? not really. do others care? yes, they do and i know it isn't a judgmental care, but the kind that they just want better for me.. but what if that is better for me? what if a few part time jobs is the right thing for me next? i understand and appreciate people wanting more for me, but i want what God wants for me and if that means working in housekeeping, at a starbucks, for ups, or anywhere that doesn't require a college degree, than i am ok with that. of course my ideal next step would be into a full-time salary paying job, but like i said before i am learning to have patience and that means if the next few steps aren't in a full-time job that is ok because i know those steps will lead to the next steps and to the new doors that will be opened.

thank you Lord for being patient with me when i am anxious about my future. i know you are writing my story so i need not to worry. forgive me when i do because that is showing my lack of trust. i trust you and help me to trust you more where i fall short. Amen.

an odd feeling..

i am sure everyone has heard about Jennifer Knapp being gay.. well, if you hadn't she was a very popular Christian singer who has now come public with her sexuality..yeah, starting this blog off with a bang.. haha anyways, my heart has been struggling with the news. in the baby days of my faith i would have judged and i would have condemned. now, i find myself breaking on so many levels.. breaking for her and her struggle, breaking for our world that is so confused (this doesn't help), breaking for our Lord.. what she argued on Larry King Live was legitimate.. why is this sin any different? she is right, it's not. sin is sin no matter how big or how small. we are missing the point. the point isn't if she is going to heaven or hell because she is gay.. the point is, is that her(or anyone's) struggle? now, before i go on i want to clear up that i think homosexuality is wrong, but i feel as if we are missing the mark on issues like this. i believe that people with a same sex attraction can be saved just like i believe that someone who struggles with lying can be saved. the key word is struggle. if there is no struggle with the sin or no belief that the sin is wrong then i hate to say that i have a hard time believing that they are a believer. i then find myself struggling with the verses that are thrown back at us in this argument. Verses like John 8:7..When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her," and Matthew 7:3.."Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" it is so true, i am not even close to being without sin so how can i even judge??? it is just that, i am not judging if she is going to heaven or hell, i am breaking for a world that is full of people that are like her... that are struggling with a sin and giving in. if they could just believe that it is possible to struggle with something and not have to give into it, if they believe and put their faith in the Lord and realize that He loves them through their struggles... what is important is not what we struggle with, but how we deal with those struggles and who we run to for help.. so this blog was more about me talking about my struggle with how to deal with these issues rather than the issues themselves..

Lord, help us to love and not judge.. help us to see the bigger picture loving people into knowing you.. help us not to try and take the place and the job of what You said You could only do. forgive us when we try to be You.. give us wisdom in all that we say and do and act.

forgiven by His mercy,

beth.