in the no.

i heard a sermon this sunday that moved me. i have to admit i have been in a spiritual low lately... you know the kind where things just feel heavy?? it's been like that a while.. hard to pray, less sensitive to the Spirit's leading, and just not "feeling" much.. i am not sure exactly what brings times on like these.. maybe it is just me and my human fault, but maybe it is just part of life.. but, this Sunday i was challenged to evaluate my yes' and no's.. how am i living my life in the margins? the time on the outside? i realize i thrive on my life with people and those relationships.. that means i tend to say yes to everything and everyone. but, a quote my pastor said really caught my attention.. "the quantity of my no's determines the quality of my yes'." mmm, that is the truth. i have already started saying no to not just time with people, but to "things" as well that grab my attention in life. saying no helps me to grow in my spiritual life by weeding out distractions and taking time for relationship...Lord, i pray that you will help me to evaluate my yes's and no's in life and help me to prioritize my life in a way that honors you. thank you that no is not always a negative answer. thank you for not leaving me and teaching me in those valleys. amen.

shine.on.

beth.

new.

i am going to try to write more.. i forgot how much i enjoyed it and i haven't really had the time to do anything.. not even think.. ok i know it's an excuse, but things have been hectic.. anyways.. i'm starting new... in a lot of things.. i am starting a new job on monday. i will be the volunteer coordinator at Sandy Cove. yes, i am going back to the place where i fell in love with camp ministry.. i am floored that i am blessed to start a new journey at a familiar place.. am i nervous? well, yeah.. and there is a battle i fight of self-doubt, but God is bigger than all that! i am sad to say I am leaving NorthBay, but a new opportunity for me to move forward is something i can't turn away. i have loved working with the kids and staff, but it is time for me to move on.. i start a new life with my best friend in just 5 weeks.. i can't believe it. Stephen and I will be married on January 16, 2011. our journey has been a beautiful one told by the Lord himself.. if you ever want to hear the story just ask! i can't fathom that i am so priveledged to marry this wonderful man of God. i can't help but to ask, why me? i know it is because the Lord loves me so much, but isn't that hard to swallow sometimes when i know how filthy i am?? the Lord knows all of this and still loves me through my sin. i pray to honor God with Stephen and i pray we will never lose our love for each other, our love for people, and our love for our Heavenly Father. a lot of things are new in my life, but man i wouldn't have it any other way and God knows that. He knows my love for adventure and new journey's.. so here is to my new life of being a coordinator and wife.. Lord, may i serve you well and with all I am.